I have been reading this site for a little while. Want to express my thoughts on your situation.
If you keep the child, you will never cut yourself loose from that man. There is a bloodline linking you together. You will see the child and you will be reminded all the time. Think really hard - is this what you want?
Life goes on. What you are going thru is bad, but nowhere near catastrophic. You need to be strong and you need have this taken care of and move on. You have my due respect for thinking of your mother all the time.
37 years old is no where near the end of life. With your decision, you will be in a good shape to a better life you deserve.
Learn the lesson. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"
Finaly, Cheer up! Get a good sleep and lick your wounds. Life goes on. It's not the end of the world! People go thru a lot worse than this and they always prevail!