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 Reply to 恍如隔世: Why True Love and Good Wife Cannot Be Found In China Any More? |
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seattle
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作者：seattle 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
More accurately, this question should be "why ... cannot be easily found in China any more?"
As some of us say (and I believe), there may still be some good girls who are into true love (ref. to the love definition I gave earlier), and can be good wife, but too many of them are not like that. These statements are based on my limited experience, but I don't think I am that unlucky to have met the only one such girl in the Chinese world.
Girls now lie too often. They even lie when they know that you know they are lying -- and yet they don't even feel any shame in their lies. They take relationship as a game and they use all their intelligence and skills to play it well, while a man in this game becomes her prey, since he cannot play the game and does not want to -- his needs to spend his time and intelligence on his work.
Girls now ask for too much more than they give. In fact, moneytarily, having a girl friend costs much more than using prostitutes. If you pay 500 RMB for one time service, and do it twice a week, it costs you only 4000 a month and 50k a year. A girl friend? A lot lot lot more.
If you ask, then what about love? Well, yes, if you get love, then it's worth it. The fact is, after some lies, you realize what you have been having is not love. The happiness she brings to you? If most of the time she's brought you happy moments then you can be convinced that it's love. However, in some cases, she's brought you more unhappiness than happiness.
It's not that I cannot leave the past, it's because the world changes too fast. This is now a world where only money and sex talk. Civilized humanity is ripped to ground zero. And when you come to the topic of love, you'll find that prostitutes are much more respectable than some girls.
Want to find a good wife? Not that easy either. Now most girls don't do any house work. They don't cook and they don't clean. They dont' do your laundry either. They don't care about you and they don't try to understand you. All they want is they themselves having a good time, with or without you, but at your cost.
For a girl of this sort, loyalty is never a part of a relationship from the begining. That's why she always try to find a man as a farmer buys a horse. She starts with and stays with a few different men and eventually she lays her hand down on one. While some girls will wisely tie their life with this one man she picks, some other girls will continue to play that game more even a man has been chosen.
True, some men do the same.
There is nothiing to blame of what you are and what you want -- anyway this is now a world where no moral standard exists. However, the bottom line is, such a person, man or worman, should honestly present her/his true person from the start. Don't lie to a person who loves you (or at least in a relationship with you) that you are someone that you are not. If you tell him you are a game player at the begining, then it's his stupidty to continue a relationship with you if he is not a game player like you.
Easy said hard done. To those of us in the old traditional camp who are still wishing for fancy and flimsy true love and family life, well, better have good luck, and be very careful in this world. One good advice is, dont' get into a relationship with a girl on the internet -- because you dont' know the real her, unless your purpose is sex only. How to find the good girl (if any)? Do the following:
1. Look at what kind of family she is brought up in. The kind of parents she has are very important for you to determine the kind of person she is.
2. Look at her relatives.
3. Look at what kind of friends she has.
4. Pay attention to what kind of topic she talks about and what kind of questions she asks you. I once had a friend who told me that when he first started talking to his girl friend, she often asked him what he had for dinner -- I immediately told my friend that she would be a very good girl and very good wife. Turned out to be true.
5. Find out what she does in her spare time.
6. Find out how she spends her income.
7. Find out if she is hiding anything from you, her history, or her money (when you are in that stage of relationship).
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作者：seattle 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
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 Reply to 恍如隔世: Why True Love and Good Wife Cannot Be Found In China Any More? -- seattle - (4268 Byte) 2005-3-26 周六, 13:23 (2863 reads) - 西兄好! -- bug - (30 Byte) 2005-3-29 周二, 10:12 (330 reads)
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